I wrote up a list of things to say to a cancer patient last year. I’ve been going through my archives to see what could do with an update. I think these six things apply to any friend who is sick, whether it’s cancer or exhaustion.
I’ve gone through and I’ve turned that list into a handy table for you to print out and give to your friends. You can even pin it on Pinterest!
I saw a few threads going around this week about some of the more tactless things people say to cancer patients. Since the PSA apparently needs to be made, I’m taking the liberty of posting it. While it’s a numbered list, it’s really no particular order.
- “Oh, well at least it’s the good kind of cancer, right?” Lymphoma, unlike pancreatic cancer, has a very good 5 year survival rate. However, can we all agree that all cancer is awful? And that when you hear that you’ve got the c-word, it doesn’t feel very good despite what the survival rates say.
- “I know what you’re going through, I can a root canal once and it was TERRIBLE.” Never ever say this, unless you went through chemo. And even then, it’s a loaded thing to say. Nothing will make me look like this: faster than hearing someone say this with a straight face on.
- “My brother’s mother-in-law’s postman’s accountant had cancer…” Really? And you were totes there the whole time? Somehow, I doubt it.
- “…and s/he died a horrible lingering painful death.” You would be surprised how many people told me about a loved one who had cancer and died and how terrible it was. Cancer isn’t always a death sentence but it often times is. There’s no reason to confirm my worst fears for me.
- “Oh. That sucks. Anyway, about me and my petty problems…” While I was going through chemo, I would often times welcome hearing about my friends “petty” problems because it was a nice reminder that life goes on. Not every conversation had to revolve around Deep and Philosophical Talks About Life. However, there were some folks who just can’t see past the tip of their nose and really listen to what others had to say. Those folks quickly vanished when the going got tough. And that’s OK, because there were other people who stepped up and I cherish them for that.
The take away here is to think before you speak. If you don’t know what to say sometimes all that’s required is a heartfelt, “I’m sorry you have to go through this.” Come back on Thursday when I’ll post what you OUGHT to say.
Posted in Cancer
Tagged cancer, lists
A few weeks ago, I published my “to knit” list. I’m happily able to update it now.
* I’ve got husband’s present done!
* And Mom’s shawl is about 35% done. I do need to buy more yarn, though. The two skeins I purchased just won’t be enough.
* I need to work on my sockette sock. That should break up the monotony of Mom’s shawl.
* On December 1st, I’m going to start my Swallowtail mitts. I’m not part of a knit along or anything, I just want to get ‘em done.
I’ve been trying to go through my stash and pair yarn up with projects but I have so many one skeins that I’m at a loss for what to do. Suggestions are always welcomed! I’ve also have a few skeins listed for sale. If you are interested, please send me a private message or email me at vanessa AT mixedmartialartsandcrafts DOT com.
Happy November, everyone! Since it’s the start of a new month, I’ve decided to focus and write out my “to knit” list. I have a few gifts that I want to start and finish for Christmas (I’m only knitting two gifts so it’s do-able), a bunch of WIPs that I want to finish before the New Year and some stuff I want to get off my queue already.
WIPs to be Finished:
Sockettes. I did finish the second sock but it was a fail. Details about that on Friday.
February Lady Sweater. I think I can knock this out in a week.
Lace Diamond Scarf. For a lace piece, this is a fast knit but will take me about half a month to finish.
Gifts to Cast On:
I need to make a manly cowl for Husband for Christmas. It’s going to be in worsted weight so it shouldn’t take too long. Perhaps I’ll just pick a stitch pattern and make my own thing up.
I’d like to make a shawl for my mom. I’ve got the yarn earmarked for it but the design needs to be fairly utilitarian for her to actually use it. I’m thinking the Weaver’s Wool Mini Shawl and just making it a little longer. Mom is much shorter than I am (she’s 5’2″ on a good day) but has broader shoulders. I think I can jigger something up.
Just Make it Already!
Swallows Pattern. I’ve got the pattern and the yarn for it. I just need to assemble it!
Medium Weight Pull Over. Again, I have the yarn for this and the pattern purchased. Just gotta put two and two together.
So far it’s a short and do-able list. I’m going to try my best to knit from stash as much as possible this year. I also hope to make a Baby Surprise Jacket at some point this coming year. I don’t have any one to knit baby things for, but I figure I should start stashing future gifts.