Ninja Tip: Does gentleness mean letting yourself off the hook?

I’ve noticed a trend going around the internet, lots of people (myself included!) are blogging about ‘gentleness’ or ‘gentle accountability’. I’ve been pondering the difference between being gentle with you and just letting yourself off the hook easily.

photo credit: shareski via photopin cc

photo credit: shareski via photopin cc

What does ‘gentleness’ mean?

I’m an unapologetic English major. I loved the work I did for my degree and I find myself thinking about what I learned. I firmly believe that words have meaning and should be used carefully. (Note: I hate corporate-speak because it’s overused and have become meaningless. Also, not everything needs a hashtag!)

For my clients, I define gentleness as this: it’s respecting your feelings, acknowledging that it’s okay to feel, especially negative emotions, and not berating yourself. It’s about taking a hard look in the mirror, figuring out why there’s a block between where you are and what you want, and how you can get through it.

Gentleness is not saying, “I just can’t do that.” Or “I wasn’t made to be a “. It is acknowledging that things may not be ideal and you may not be where you wish to be but you’re going to try hard to make the best out of a bad situation.

Letting yourself off the hook is really about avoiding responsibility we have to honor our goals, talents and dreams. I think it is possible to get what you want, you just may have to shift and change the path to get there.

Need a guide to get you there? I can help you with that!

  1. First, let me say that although I have no one on my life dealing with cancer right now, I enjoy all of your posts on interacting with those who are. I try to absorb what you’re saying so if/when I do, I won’t be one of those people saying the “things not to say” and generally putting my foot firmly in my mouth as I’m wont to do at any given moment. =)

    I have a comment about the graphic up there, though…I don’t believe accountability and responsibility can “infer” anything, unless we are personifying them both. They could *imply* those things, though. “Infer” means you’re drawing a conclusion about something; “imply” means you’re pointing towards a conclusion. I usually let these things slide, but since you made the point that you’re an English major and that you firmly believe words should be used correctly, I felt compelled to point it out. (I’m not an English major, but I believe words should be used correctly, too. =)

    • Thank you for your words, Heather.

      About the graphic: it’s really hard to get good photos about accountability or gentleness! I thought this one was intriguing, though I’m not sure if I totally agree with what it says. And maybe someone would disagree (or agree!) and get a conversation going. 😉


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