Happy December! I am so very proud to announce that on November 29th, I won National Novel Writing Month! I gave up earlier in the week thinking that I just wouldn’t be able to write any more but I pulled through! I don’t think I would have been able to do it with out my collection of notebooks.
Before, during and after chemotherapy I wrote in my journals about what was going on, how I was feeling both physically and emotionally and what I was looking forward to. The neuropathy in my finger tips made writing (and knitting, holding chop sticks, and picking up things) difficult but I did it any way.
I am so glad I did.
My NaNo book is about my cancer experience. It’s been three years since I was last admitted into the hospital, those memories have either been blocked out or have faded away. I had forgotten certain moments or my time line, as I recall it, was mixed up.
I was able to turn to my notebooks full of those painful memories to get me back on track. My rereading and writing in those moments to my narrative, I was able to trigger other memories.
Reading through my scrawled notes, I was able to see when I went from feeling so angry about having cancer and having to spend so much time in a hospital to feeling more resigned at my fate and determined to see it through.
I don’t think I could have pressed on with NaNo if I didn’t think about finding my diary from that year. Present Vanessa is very happy that Past Vanessa kept up her writing habits.